My Study Distractions

Oh winter exams. As if the looming holidays isn’t distraction enough, trying to keep yourself cooped up in front of a desk for hours on end trying to study seems to be the perfect way to discover just how entertaining everything else in the world can be. If you’re really trying to focus, and have 45 minutes left before your final, may I suggest not reading the following list? For the rest of you who are ready for a study break (or seven) here's list of my study distractions

1. Music

Listening, discovering, downloading; if you want it to, music can eat up hours of your time. Some people study well with some soft music in the background to tune out any other sounds. Other people use their iPod as an excuse to escape for a minute, or maybe 30. Maybe you didn’t feel to need to download Willow’s Whip my Hair and various remixes up until now, but suddenly, it seems so much more important than finishing that novel you were supposed to read in October.

2. Google

Google can be an efficient study tool. Wait, let me rephrase that: it can be a study tool. It can also be a phenomenal waste of time. So, you hit the search engine to look up the dates that a French king was in rule. Simple fact, two seconds, right? But then when you’re surfing his Wikipedia page, you find all this other info, like that he had one of his wives beheaded, and then you’re looking at the history of the guillotine and then all of a sudden you’re on an Alice in Wonderland page with the quotes about “off with her head” and then…you get the picture.

3. Online Games

Sure maybe you complained when your boyfriend got addicted to Call of Duty, and claimed video games were such a wate of time. But, suddenly, that Facebook Jetman game or online word game seem surprisingly tempting. Hey, it’s a good mental break for one round right? Until you have the top score among all your friends and it’s 3 am. Yeah, that happens.

4. Cleaning/Organizing

I’ve heard from others that they do this too, so it’s not just my OCD-side showing. Sure, it’s a good idea to tidy your study space and get all your notes organized before cracking the books, but it can easily lead to cleaning your whole bedroom, and then…well, let’s just say if you’re cleaning your roommate’s closet, you’ve gone too far, my friend.

5. Texting/Talking

Luckily nobody makes phone calls anymore (unless, of course, your Mom is calling), but that doesn’t stop your phone from buzzing every six seconds with other equally-distracted (or worse, already exam-free) friends. Think turning off your phone will free you? Only if you live on your own, otherwise your roommates, floormates, or even randoms in the library will suddenly be tempting you with the most scintilating conversation you’ve had in decades.

6. YouTube

This one kind of ties in with Google and music. I know when I’m dying to get a song out of my head, I’ll head to YouTube to listen real quick before hitting the books again. But then YouTube recommends another video, and then another, and before you know it you’ve seen so many babies dancing to The Dog Days Are Over you’re starting to mimic their moves.

7. Facebook and Twitter

If you didn’t see this coming, you’re not in college. No matter how many times a day I check my Twitter or Facebook, it always seems to be the same old crap, and yet, I always wind up back on there after I read a chapter or two. Maybe it’s just a part of our college culture, maybe it helps us feel more connected, or maybe we just want to see if anyone tags any cute photos of us from last weekend.

How to…Write a Better Resume

Whether you’re a freshman in college or this is your super senior year, there is no excuse not to have a professional, up-to-date resume. Plus, sitting down and writing or updating a resume is a great excuse to consider your future. It can be a lot of fun, too. Think about creating a resume like compiling a list of some of your greatest hits and achievements, which should only help you to find bigger and better triumphs.

Starting From Scratch 

If you don’t already have a resume, ask a friend, parent, career centre staff, or search online for a sample resume. You may have to search through a few before you find one you like. Then, based off of this sample resume, create your own by filling in your own information. It should include, at least, your name, contact information, education, and work experience.

Keep It Recent

Get rid of college stuff ASAP. If you’re a freshman, it’s not a big deal, but by your sophomore year of college you should have enough new things to add to your resume. Think clubs, job,volunteer work, semester honors, etc.

Tidy Up

Keep it simple and very organized. You should use the same fonts or header styles throughout the resume. Also try to organize your activities into different categories. You may want to split it into work experience, activities, awards, honours, certifications, or combine one or two as a header.

Keep it Concise

Keep your resume to one page. Definitely throughout college you need a resume that is only one page. As you get more activities and more work experiences to fill up your resume, you will have to pick and chose what you think future employers need to see. You may even consider have multiple resumes to cater to different kinds of people that you are sending your resume to.

Edit, Edit, Edit

Have someone else look over your resume. After you’ve fixed margins, fit it to one page, and spell-checked everything; now it is imperative to get another set of eyes to look over your resume. And not just one set, but two or three. Your college’s career centre will probably have resources to help with creating resumes and with editing resumes. If you can, submit your resume there for revision.

Half the battle is keeping your resume up-to-date. Once you have these ideas in mind remember to update your resume at least every semester, and make sure you print a few copies of it too.  That way if you just happen to meet someone who may be willing to give you that internship you’ve always dream of, well you’ll have something beautiful to either hand to them in person or to email the minute you get behind a computer.

Changing places and changing friendships

I have never been the type to initiate friendships, although I can usually guess pretty accurately whether I'll end up being friends with someone from the moment we meet. I just wait for the friendship to 'happen' or for them to make the effort. I have very few friends and am somewhat of an introvert.  over 2 years ago, I moved to noida for MBA. I considered three girls very close friends and for the first few weeks away, I kept in touch with them pretty much every weekend.

Friend A, whom I've known for about five years, made little or no effort to stay in touch. She took days to return my calls, or only called when she needed advice. I find myself in a 'shrink' position with all my friends, not just her, and this is very draining. They forget I have feelings, needs and problems too. I tell her my problems from time to time and she's 'happy' to hear them, not because she wants to help, I think, but because it makes her feel better about herself.

She's competitive (even though she doesn't admit it) and puts a lot of effort into keeping up appearances and projecting a certain image. When I first met her in college, I walked past her (she was standing with an acquaintance of mine)

She's planning to get married to a guy she admits she doesn't love. She often calls me for advice when the situation gets sticky. As soon as it gets sorted out, I don't hear from her except when she's teasing me about my looks or making jokes about my ambitions. How do I tell her I don't want her asking my opinion about her love life because she never follows my advice? It's happened so many times that I've lost count. In jest, I've told her to quit telling me about her love triangle but I can't keep myself from 'interfering' when I see the path she's headed on. What do I do?

Friend B literally makes me think for her. She asks me even the simplest thing that she could Google and find answers to for herself. Never mind we're on different continents and I'm busy with school while she has recently graduated and isn't working yet.

The common denominator with all these old friends is that they almost always let me down. I hardly ever ask anything of them, whether advice or to help me run errands. This saddens me when I seem to bend over backwards for them. We all joke about my 'shrink' role but now I'm wondering if I should let go of these friendships. Admittedly, if I met my old friends today, I most certainly wouldn't be friends with them, as we have nothing in common anymore and the relationships are too draining.

How do I break off without hurting their feelings or creating resentment? I've since made a few new friends here and have no problems moving on from new friendships before they get too deep. What should I look out for to avoid the same mistakes?

Stop Taking It Personally

There are plenty of opportunities for the vanity of supposed compliments to come along and build up one’s ego. Often it is easy to seek out fake and insecure building up of the ego. Stop feeding your ego with false positives and reject the negative that comes along.

what you are saying is hurting me. But what I am saying is only touching what is already hurting you. Your greatest fear is already happening. What I am saying is holding you accountable by pointing out that you can't really hide from your wounds and that pretending to hide is really making things a lot worse. You are hurting yourself.

Beneath the anger is the fear.

Most people spend most of their lives running from the truth; the truth that they are not free. They think this will bring them freedom and pleasure. You are hurting yourself.

Most people only have the skill level to barely tell the truth. That means that most people are lying most of the time in positive and negative ways. People lie because they are afraid. You have to trust yourself and know where to trust others.

Stop others from lying to you, in all ways. And tell the truth with love. And still create a level of safety for others.

When you live without ‘taking it personally’ you can travel the world with your heart completely open while your mind is free and no one can hurt you. You can truly say, `I know you love me` to even the worst that hate you and not have to deal with fear or rejection.

We can face and deal with each one of our fears one at a time. This works even though it is slow and a takes a lot of effort. Stop feeding the fears and all your fears die out on their own. What you focus on expands.

Then you can kill the angel of death, the fastest and obviously most difficult path requiring a great amount of skill. By killing the angel of death you resurrect and transform your life.

Surrender. Let the angel of death do his job. Surrender to God. Surrender your will to God as this is the only thing He asks of us. Feed heaven instead.

You can truly be free. You can ask for what you need and give them the room to say yes, no, or whatever. You can truly extend an invitation. And you can choose to say yes, no, or whatever to them without guile or self judgment. You can follow your heart the vast majority of the time. You can be Victor Frankl in the middle of your own living hell of a life and still live within inner peace and happiness. You can stay in a state of bliss regardless of what torment is going on around you. This is transforming your hell into heaven on earth.

ONLY NOW can you begin to shape the environment around you to be heaven and share this paradise with others. This is a much more fulfilling heaven than the heaven that is created by another and extended over you. You now have the power to create your own heaven. You are no longer dependent on others to create it for you. You transcend this world and never have to come back.