How do you Un-friend a Friend?

When you are more than friends and less than lovers, could you still consider your friend a friend?

What happened to that special friendship? 

Their story was short lived, impartially cut, just like any other.

Despite all that had happened between them, he knew she had longed to put things back to where it was supposed to be; as a friend, a shoulder to lean on, a friend to cry on. She missed their good-friend days when they could just talk sensibly about just anything. But every time she tried to win him back, he responded as a lover. For this guy, her weakness was his weakness.  

She was very sorry she failed as a friend and she had clearly understood why she will never be. Pragmatically, she was the wrong person to shed light to his sullied mind for she had fallen and fancied him so much she had already given herself to him to consume like charity to a disaster.  

She tried to understand his ways, tried to accept the thoughts that mattered to him for she wanted to know him deeper. But I guess he refused. Was he desperate? She never knew. She had always craved to hear his side that she had never heard, to know his pains that she had seen in his eyes; a possible heartache, failure or defeat, that his disturbance brought her wondering something must have gotten wrong.

But he had seen into her eyes an emotional being, naked of any defense. Her vulnerability was temptingly his to take, to abuse and mis-use. This might have scared him away that before anything can go further beyond their control, before everything goes wrong from a wrongfully deteriorating integrity, they parted. 

She attempted hibernation and sadly, most hurt.  

Maybe she was an inconvenience; she only offered temporary relief but conceivably long term injury to both of them, knowing that she was just another girl among the girls of his time. 

She wished it was as easy as to click the unlike button days after you have liked it. 

She wished to block him off her mind the way you block an annoying friend, but she couldn’t, because this friend wasn’t just a number in the friend-list of her facebook account. 

To her, he was real… a friend listed in her heart, till the day it ends.

stop me 4rm loving u

Time and again I have been trying over and over

To straighten myself from the darkest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

I have tried to be responsible in my actions

Be mature enough to stand and correct that miscalculated presumption,
 

Of a luscious mistake I so love to repeatedly do.

 

I might have pulled myself up and run away from you,
 

Only to become trap on the daily thoughts of you.

I guess by now you know how much I had tried

To defy that invisible attachment from your influence,

But I realized resisting makes me want you more.

I can’t fight the need to reach you further.

It’s weakening, it’s captivating, and it’s tempting.

I have wished to hammer my head and say “hey, wake up”.

And yet I have failed because in the world of make-believe

Illusion is as sweet as that of those who have been deprived of.

It is ironic to say I’m too emotionally vulnerable

to wake up and stand against playing-pretend

in this realm we once in a while create to feel loved and be needed.

Hence I don’t know where to start or how to end.

I guess I am at a lost and baffled with thoughts

Asking you to please help me forget you.

So before my emotions are taking me over, I am writing you this.

For I fear that the moment I'll see you, I will melt into your arms

begging you to touch me once more, and feel your kiss

Pleading you to hold me like you’ll never gonna leave,

And then I will be back to my same old cycle again, of happiness and sadness,

and more sadness for I know deep inside, I cannot change my past

nor do anything about my future, for we have none of that.

I will never be reciprocated for I know you are not meant to stay.

Sooner or later I am destined to get hurt.

So hurt me now please, and if you can, make me hate you,

to hate you so much as to never make me long for you again.

Give me bad memories, and make me feel I don't deserve you

by then I can freely let you go off my mind.

If you see me rushing back to you, stop me.

I will thank you one day for helping me forget you.